Virtual Road Rage (humor)

I have received thousands of emails from very nice people looking for information or saying nice things.  In sharp contrast are the occasional emails from people who don't have any manners at all, much less an ability to write or hold a coherent line of thought. Such people can be rather amusing as they get themselves all worked up.   It's virtual road-rage, encouraged by the (apparent) anonymity of the Internet.  Low-brow personal insults and general stupidity usually follow.  But beware road-ragers: You never quite know when someone will take your ridiculous letter and post it on a webpage!

Now THERES some real college material!!

I have a family tree page which mentions Robert E. Lee,  but clearly states that I am NOT a descendent of that particular famous Lee.  My ancestors come from a different branch of the Lee tree, but are of the same overall tree, if you get my meaning.   My website says "Please don't ask me for more information - this is all I have, and there are other sources on the Internet." And in front of my email address I have the following paragraph in bold type: "Please do NOT ask me for information about the Robert E. Lee family tree!"   Could I possibly be any more clear?

PATRICIA DUCKWORTH: "This is Patricia Duckworth, and Robert E. Lee is my great-greatgranfather and I also am trying to get all the information I can. My dad's name was George W. Lee Jr. He live in Michagan before he moved to MO., then we moved to AR. I don't have the family tree like I would like to have. Do you mind if you have one to email it to me? Or, any other information. Did you ever hear about Robert E. Lee having anything in Rogers Ar? My mom told me it was on t.v. about three weeks ago but I missed it. She said something about Stone Mountian, I don't know if that is in Ar or not, like I said I missed that biograhy thaat night."  Patricia Duckworth pduckie6@yahoo.comREC'D 4/15/2000:

PATRICIA DUCKWORTH: "This is Patricia Duckworth, and I was wondering if you receieved my email about Robert E. Lee being my great-great-grandfather and if you had any information that I may be able to get from you, such as a family tree? The one that I have don't tell me exactly what I what. If you don't mind and have one if you could not email me a copy or mail me one?   Patricia Duckworth pduckie6@yahoo.com" REC'D 4/24/2000:

PATRICIA DUCKWORTH: "EXCUSE ME !" pduckie6@yahoo.com" REC'D 4/26/2000

PATRICIA DUCKWORTH:"The information you have on your website talks about the relatives of Robert E. Lee, and you also state that you are one of them. I am not sure you are aware of this but that would make a decendent of Robert E Lee. duh"  email  pduckie6@yahoo.com REC'D 4/26/2000:

TERESA: "Do I owe you something? On what basis am I required to meet your personal needs and desires? I am NOT a librarian or a geneology researcher, nor am I getting paid for this. As for Robert E. Lee, I am not a descendent of him and yet I am related to him. Think about it. Are you a descendant of your uncle? My ancestor was a COUSIN of Robert E. Lee. Therefore, my ancestors are not descendents of Robert E. Lee. If you still don't understand, then please ask someone else because I'm sure they will... So what exactly do you want from me? And on what basis do I owe you my time and energy? Are you extra-special or something?" Sent 4/26/2000:

LISA OLIVER (PATRICIA'S FRIEND): "I am another person of the southern Lee clan. Yes for your information I am extra-special. Not because I AM a decendent from Robert E Lee, but because I said so. And believe when i say that nobody here cares if you are a Lee or not. Which you are probably not. If you have Lee blood in you then learn to use it. As far as the Lee clan here you can kiss my ass." - Lisa Oliver, email lmo_28_99@yahoo.com

PATRICIA DUCKWORTH: "Take my name off your damn web site. How dare you." - Rec'd 7/14/2001 email duckman@cox-internet.com

TERESA: "Actually, I get a lot of compliments on my Virtual Road Rage page.  People really enjoy reading it.  Why should I take it down?  Email is public."

PATRICIA DUCKWORTH: "For one damn thing I don't think I gave you permission to put my name on your stupid web site if that is what you want to call it!!!!!! Take if off......"

ATV Users
Some of these letters are absolutely hysterical. I have a local trails website that includes a page with photos of damage caused to our hiking/biking trails from the illegal use of ATVs.  This has generated several anonymous nastygrams. My website clearly states that the ATVs themselves are not the problem, rather, it is the parents who let their teenage boys ride around "out back" without any supervision. The boys rip up trails, destroy signs, litter, and spray paint. Here goes:

"You have to be the most disrespectfull whore i have ever heard of. You must have some social issues. If u have a problem with the usage of atv's and dirtbikes on public property, u have issues with every atv and dirtbke rider in the nation. Maybe your taxpayers should put a litte money asde for some legal riding land instead of buying there new ferraris or vipers. get some common sense. we have no where to ride, exept illegal areas and your front lawn. if the bulldozer are in the picture, can't they fix the trails and prevent them from breaking, im sure 7,000,000 is enough money to get some maintenance done, and a face lift/ nose job for your busted skank ass. get somefriends u underated whore. crack kills....." Jordan Rancourt supafly694u@yahoo.com, Nov. 2002

"Please excuse my grammatical errors when reading this e-mail has i do have two degrees which i guesss has nothing on the imbreed homeschooling either your mother or your aunt gave to you since they are the same person.
    I suggest to you that instead of worrying about some backwoods ORV people you take the time to inform yourself that a lot of them are well educated. I am from idaho where we have numerous land specifically designed for atv and dirtbikers. Why? so people like you don't have to miss church to stay around and argue about how the horses they used to cuddle up to are not spooked anymore piss off" - Wait, it gets funnier. This turned out to be from a kid unwisely sending an email from his parents' computer...

I responded, "Thank you for your thoughtful remarks. I've published your rant on a couple of my webpages for its entertainment value. "

Then I got this reply: "Please except my apologies for the extremely nasty e-mail you received from my extremely immature son. I can tell you that neither my wife nor I condone or accept such a viewpoint. I learned of his "message" today when I logged on. I assure you that the consequences for his actions will be severe. His action is embarrassing and extremely disappointing. It is shameful that he would use the internet in such a cowardly, sickening way. ..we can assure you that an extremely irresponsible young man will be experiencing our wrath for his extremely hurtful and vile message sent under our names." (I've deleted their names.)

"you should leave this kids alone.would u rather them sell drugs or have fun and ride there atvs. and then for u to call them self centered and you think that every one dosent want these kids haveing fun. you should have a town vote to decide if you should leave this kids alone or buil them a track. then you stereotype them bye makeing that web site and saying that every atver destroys and tears up trails and your preicuos signs.i say LEAVE THE KIDS ALONE. maybe if u had a life or knew how to have fun you would buy a quad and quit your bitching." GaryColemanLvr@aol.com

I responded, "Thank you for your thoughtful remarks. I've published your rant on a couple of my webpages for its entertainment value. "

His thoughtful reply: "Fxxx you nxggxx".  Now HERE'S someone I want riding potentially dangerous machines on our trails!

"u people r stupid let people ride were ever they want" - BMXurMAT14@cs.com

"oh boy..I found your website looking for places to buy a quad. Im glad theres no bitches like you here in new britain. My parents are letting me get a quad..and thanx for another place i can ride. Your probably some rich bitch drivin a mercedes 20 miles an hour down a highway.  Just because you think your gettin some exercise from "hiking" tryin to work off that fat ass of yours doesnt give you the power to stop us. I just hope you dont put up your address on this website or youl have to move from all the people getting back at you.  I really enjoy your website too..I cant wait to see the outcome from your bitching. Maybe us ATVers should complain about having no place to ride...and make a website of how you hikers arent useing the trails to their full potential. So please reply to this message because id LOVE to hear you bitch back..know why i say bitch all the time to describe you? because you are what you eat." - Buffalow [eklimaszewski@snet.net]

"you know that every time a kid in this town finds a way to stay off drugs and out of trouble the city decides to take that away from us. they bulldozed the bike jumps 5 times in one summer, and then when we video taped the mayor there he said that private boat ramp owners had it done and the space where the jumps where is public open space. and what is PUBLIC OPEN SPACE if the public ( all of us residents are the public) and you decide to restrict who can use these spaces. so i think you all need to leave the kids and open space alone.  please tell me where your front yard is, id love to spin my tires all over it.   the point of public open space is for the public, not the city to say only some, not all, can use." - Sin024@aol.com

"We will continue to ruin your trails if you don't make a place for us to ride. You can't catch us all." - LimpRyan14@aol.com

"instead of building all of these new houses and buisnesses that only creates traffic and makes this town look like NY city, i think that we should use some of this land to build tracks for kids. this is only a positive action for our city. so instead of all you people out there complaning that dirtbikes and ATVs only create trouble and are noisy and disturbing should do something about it, you should build a track so you wont be bothered and stop all this BS about dirtbikes and ATVs. let me tell you, once a kid gets a bike or quad, he wont stop because his neighbor is complaning, or someone from the city says something negative about them, the only way is to build a local track for them to ride. that is the only solution for this problem and of course you people wont do anything. it is plain and simple build a track and stop the complaning." - ALASBIGZ24@aol.com

"I have never seen such a one sided abuse of power. Actually I have and it's always people like you. A "Cause head". Slamming one individuals point of view. Utilizing an open forum like a .org state page to address your personal concerns and woes in life. Yes, environment is the most important thing. Without a proper balance we build our own demise.However, there are those of us who have an open mind. You make these ORV riders out to be the scum of the earth and blast the public school system because of an 8 or 10 year olds attempted email response. Who do you see when you look in the mirror. Home school, great, just means you child will be as one sided as you. Hope you don't over specialize, in the end, diversity wins. Without it you breed in weakness. Class dismissed.
   So seeing as how you are the "environmental consultant and a web designer" and basically all around "Spirit of Shelton" find a piece of property, small, 1 acre maybe two. Something that can be recycled.... maybe an old land fill or abandoned quarry. Lobby for this to be developed into an ORV track. Seek a proprietor or ORV Club to sponsor it. A place to blow off steam for our youth. Let them have the thrill of being a little reckless and mentored in the spirit of competition instead of doing what you all do... stick you head in the sand or up another orifice.
   Be part of the solution, a community hero and "well rounded" individual, instead of trying to drive the point home with the lack of parental discipline approach. When you start people looking in others garages for offending equipment and tattling to authorities all you've succeeded in doing is causing animosity between neighbors you don't know about, care about, but may read about when they get arrested for fighting it out on the front lawn. It does happen, "Hockey Dad", so before you give the "Oh please!!!", think.
   What have you done to help. To give the kids an outlet, to ride safely and under supervision. Promote someone else's point of view or way of life or interests. Most of these kids can't buy their own bikes. This give the parents the chance to bond with their kids and work together on a hobby. For some families, who don't spend time bird watching, racing or off roading is a way to connect with their youth.
   ADD kids need high energy outlets. They need the thrills of an event like riding. Instead of sitting in the basement playing video games for countless hours perfecting violence or the thrill of running from the law for misdemeanors like spray painting rocks. Everything works best in moderation. But help don't hinder. Point in case: SRP racing of Milford ( http://www.srpinternational.com/xpark/index.htmhas ) acquired about 50 acres of property in North Haven. The whole town council voted for the building of a track. One area for all towns to go. Maintained by the owner and insured for a safe place for kids and adults to ride and develop skills but only to have one person deny zoning. Even though it is right behind a game park that provides go-cart racing and wouldn't offend anyone. Here's an idea to help save the area parks and trails, lobby to help get this designated area zoned and let the kids have their fun. It's a win-win situation. You get quiet parks and the ORV riders get a place to ride." - WaterWalker72@aol.com:

Poor old Robert E. Lee, a real Gentleman, is probably rolling over in his grave!

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